Sometimes, just changing the perspective of how we view something can make all the difference. Begin by looking at what you already have instead of what you are lacking. What do you have in your hand, right now, in this moment?

Start by looking at your life. Everyone has something good and worthwhile in their lives even if it is something as simple as having a good sense of humor. Imagine what more you could do to enrich your life or the life of another with that good sense of humor. There are people who may benefit from a healthy dose of laughter through a phone call, letter or visit. In giving of your sense of humor, perhaps you will be the one more greatly blessed.

Maybe other things are not going well in your life, but changing your focus onto the good that already exists can make the difference as to whether or not you approach the difficulties with an attitude of defeat or as an opportunity for growth.

Look at your finances and once again ask the question, “What do I have in my hand?” Could you be doing more with what you have by learning how to invest it wisely, develop better spending habits or even just keeping better track of things? Perhaps finances have intimidated you for lack of knowledge. This may be a good time to study, read and learn things that could take the management of your finances into a whole new direction and open doors that you never realized were available.

Perhaps you are experiencing a financial set-back due to the economy. Focus on what is in your hand rather than becoming overwhelmed and stressed. Maybe the very thing that will pull you through a financial hardship is already within your grasp. Changing your perspective will help you to find it. Your value and worth as a human being is not measured in terms of your bank account or job title, and realizing this is one of the lessons that life brings in times of hardship and can benefit you when the crisis is over. As difficult as it is to do, change your focus so that you can embrace these changes in your character and circumstance as a good thing and allow those changes to be worked in a positive way. This is a time for holding out your hand and releasing what you were once holding in order to embrace something new.

Most importantly, look at your friends and family and take the time to recognize the valuable relationships that are already in your hand. These are people whose lives you will most likely influence in one form or another — and whose lives will most likely influence yours. Learn to nurture and treasure the relationships you’ve been given particularly if you are taking them for granted.

In all of life’s situations, the very things we need to get through each day are usually right there in front of us, but our tendency is to look elsewhere for the solutions or resources or to look to someone else to answer our questions or meet our needs. There are times when we have true needs, but not so often as we think.

Ask yourself today, “What is in my hand?” Then, discover all the ways you can take that handful and create something more.

Susan R. Blaske Williams is author of “Making It Home: How to Run Your Household Like a Business… And Find Your Heart Along the Way” and editor/publisher of “Making It Home” Magazine. She owns a full-time family-operated home based service company in addition to several part-time home based businesses

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.   And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, and have a hard time letting go.

Inspired Fitness includes working on an Inspired Soul.

This causes problems. It not only causes us to be unhappy, but can strain or ruin relationships, distract us from work and family and other important things, make us reluctant to open up to new things and people. We get trapped in a cycle of anger and hurt, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.

We need to learn to let go. We need to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be happy.

This is something I learned the hard way — after years of holding onto anger at a loved one that stemmed from my childhood and teen-age years, I finally let go of this anger (about 8 years ago or so). I forgave, and not only has it improved my relationship with this loved one tremendously, it has also helped me to be happier.

Forgiveness can change your life.

Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behavior — you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

It’s not easy. But you can learn to do it.

If you’re holding onto pain, reliving it, and can’t let go and forgive, read on for some things I’ve learned.

1. Commit to letting go. You aren’t going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something. So commit to changing, because you recognize that the pain is hurting you.

2. Think about the pros and cons. What problems does this pain cause you? Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others? Does it affect work or family? Does it stop you from pursuing your dreams, or becoming a better person? Does it cause you unhappiness? Think of all these problems, and realize you need to change. Then think of the benefits of forgiveness — how it will make you happier, free you from the past and the pain, improve things with your relationships and life in general.

3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others, and shouldn’t try. But you can control not only your actions, but your thoughts. You can stop reliving the hurt, and can choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to exercise it.

4. Empathize. Try this: put yourself in that person’s shoes. Try to understand why the person did what he did. Start from the assumption that the person isn’t a bad person, but just did something wrong. What could he have been thinking, what could have happened to him in the past to make him do what he did? What could he have felt as he did it, and what did he feel afterward? How does he feel now? You aren’t saying what he did is right, but are instead trying to understand and empathize.

5. Understand your responsibility. Try to figure out how you could have been partially responsible for what happened. What could you have done to prevent it, and how can you prevent it from happening next time? This isn’t to say you’re taking all the blame, or taking responsibility away from the other person, but to realize that we are not victims but participants in life.

6. Focus on the present. Now that you’ve reflected on the past, realize that the past is over. It isn’t happening anymore, except in your mind. And that causes problems — unhappiness and stress. Instead, bring your focus back to the present moment. What are you doing now? What joy can you find in what is happening right now? Find the joy in life now, as it happens, and stop reliving the past. Btw, you will inevitably start thinking about the past, but just acknowledge that, and gently bring yourself back to the present moment.

7. Allow peace to enter your life. As you focus on the present, try focusing on your breathing. Imagine each breath going out is the pain and the past, being released from your body and mind. And imagine each breath coming in is peace, entering you and filling you up. Release the pain and the past. Let peace enter your life. And go forward, thinking no longer of the past, but of peace and the present.

8. Feel compassion. Finally, forgive the person and realize that in forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to be happy and move on. Feel empathy for the person and wish happiness on them. Let love for them, and life in general, grow in your heart. It may take time, but if you’re stuck on this point, repeat some of the ones above until you can get here.

Post written by Leo Babauta

There are a lot of us who would like to make an impact on the world, in some way or another. We’d like to make a contribution, change things for the better, improve lives, leave behind something positive.

And yet, with the vastness of this world, with the number of people out there who will resist change … it seems impossible at times. How can one person make an impact on the world? Normal people — those of us who aren’t in the circle of influencers such as elected officials or influential media types — just don’t have that kind of power, right?

Not necessarily.

When we think of the world as such a vast place, it’s overwhelming. It’s like sprinkling drops of our efforts into the ocean — the overall effect is so little as to be unnoticeable.

But think of those same drops of effort dripping onto one tiny spot, perhaps not in the ocean but on a rock. The drops of water, concentrated on one spot, can eventually break through that rock. And if that rock is supporting a lot of other rocks, those drops of water can cause an avalanche.

The same effort, concentrated in the right place, can make an impact. Diffused over a wide area — not so much.

Four Lessons in The Art of the Small
So our little metaphor — of drops of water falling on an ocean, or on a rock — contains in it four lessons that we’ll call The Art of the Small (only slightly related to the Jedi Force technique):

1. One person can make an impact. Don’t feel that it’s hopeless. You don’t need to be someone famous or powerful to have an impact. You can make a difference, you can change things — if you focus on The Art of the Small.

2. Concentrate your efforts on smaller and smaller areas. When your efforts are diffused over a wide area, they won’t have much of an impact. So focus on smaller areas, and your efforts will be felt more fully. It could take time for change to happen, but keep that focus narrow.

3. Try to find an area that will cause a tipping point. You’ll have the biggest impact if you can change something that will in itself cause further changes — the rock that causes the avalanche. This isn’t an easy thing, to find that pressure point, that spot that will cause everything else to change. It takes practice and experience and luck and persistence, but it can be found.

4. Don’t try to beat an ocean. You’ll lose. Instead, focus on small changes that will spread.

Learning the Art of the Small
This isn’t something you’ll always grasp instinctively, but you’ll learn its effectiveness when you put it into practice. Want to beat climate change? It’s too huge for one person to change — so focus on something smaller instead. Change your behaviors in small ways, help your children change, help other family and friends change. And teach them to help others change.

Start in small ways — help others, do little good things, and see what the impact of those things are. Never underestimate the power of putting a smile on someone’s face. That smile could change the person’s entire day, and they could go on to do something brilliant that in turn helps thousands of people. All because you did something small that put a smile on their face.

Sounds corny, but it works. Small things can have huge effects. Over time, you’ll learn to focus your efforts more effectively, but in the beginning, it doesn’t matter. What matters is you learn to focus on smaller and smaller things, and learn to be persistent.

Small things can change the world.

Post written by Leo Babauta

My childhood was filled with affection—lots of kisses, lots of hugs, lots of spoken I love yous. I never wanted for physical affection, and because of what that affection meant to me, I gave the same thing to my sons. 

I grew up in a home where love was openly talked about and warmly expressed. I can still picture myself in my attic bedroom, sitting on my bed and fuming at my parents. They had been mean to me and were totally unreasonable—at least that was my evaluation of the situation. They hadn’t understood that I was a teenager and should be allowed certain freedoms. With eyes closed, lips taut and hot tears streaming down my face, I leaned back against the wall and planned how I would get even with them for hurting me. What would be the worst thing I could do to punish them and show how much they had hurt me? It didn’t take long to figure it out—I would never kiss them again. That would do it! They’d see then! 

That’s how important physical expressions of love were in my home. And those physical expressions of love were indicative of the singularly greatest thing I appreciate about my mother. She loved me unconditionally while expecting me to live according to her rules, not mine. From her example, I also learned not to focus on myself or wallow in pity parties. 

Both my parents came from broken homes and had difficult childhoods; yet they never dwelt on how dysfunctional their families were. They were both survivors, but not survivors at someone else’s expense. In my mother, I saw love’s ability to forgive. 

I saw my sweet Mom love my real grandfather, even though he had abandoned her and my grandma and failed to provide for their needs. I never saw Mother treat Grandpa Miller any way but lovingly, even though he was far from lovable. I learned how love behaves and forgives because I saw what a woman can do and be if she wants to—if she is not willing to let her past determine her future. 

I watched my mother take care of my hundred-year-old grandmother who, in her blindness, deafness and feebleness, needed almost total care. When I was in her home, I heard what I’ve heard all my life: “I love you, Mother.” They would tell each other this a minimum of five times a day—when Mom would get Grandma up, tuck her in or prepare her meals. And I would hear love’s response as Grandma said, “And I love you, too, Leah.” 

Love forgives and moves on, focusing not on what might have been, what could have been or what we wish were different. Instead, love’s focus is on what needs to be done now and on doing it the best we can.  

My mother taught me to love; she taught me to press on, forgetting what is behind, and she demonstrated forgiveness. I wonder if she knew then that she was demonstrating principles of life that my heavenly Father would teach me in His Word. 

The transition from my parents’ arms to God’s arms was easier because of what Mother did. No matter the hurts, the pain, the skinned knees—I now know enough to get up, go to my Heavenly Father and listen as He says, “Press on. Don’t faint. Run with endurance the race that is set before you. I love you with an everlasting love.” 

This Week �
Make sure the three words, “I love you,” are always a part of your conversation. Sharing your legacy of love—unconditional love—will bless families for generations. 

By

Kay Arthur